


Only Fools Fall In Love

by emilymarie (emilymarie9898)



Series: Random Kpop One Shots [3]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Awkwardness, Crushes, F/M, Fluff, Heartache, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Tagging, Secret Crush, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 12:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19199254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilymarie9898/pseuds/emilymarie
Summary: Park Sungjin is everything you want in a guy. But a lot of people think that, people that will actually act on their feelings. So I'll just watch on the sidelines because feelings hurt.





	Only Fools Fall In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [staticfiction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/staticfiction/gifts).



⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Park Sungjin.

The boy who is taking up space in my mind at any given moment of any given day. The very same boy who lives above the bakery that I work at.

I’ve never spoken to him.

Okay, hear me out. Sungjin has lived in that apartment for about half a year now and I’ve only been working here for three months. So it’s not completely ridiculous.

Other than the fact that any time he comes into the shop to order something, I duck away to clean the tables and let someone else take his order. I'm shy and he only makes it worse. It's like I somehow regress into a tween girl and don’t know how to talk to cute boys.

Some of my coworkers have noticed the pattern but only one dares to tease me about it.

You see, I actually know Sungjin from college. He was in my English Lit class last semester but we never actually got to talk. But the stories that circulated around that man, that told me everything that I needed to know.

What I learned was that he had just ended things with his long term girlfriend at the beginning of the semester. Everyone within their circles expected something dramatic from her since that was kind of her thing. But that didn't happen this time and everyone around her was confused.

I guess she has a reputation of exposing her past boyfriends, even if the things she said weren't always that terrible. But this time she was calm, albeit a little sad but that's normal after a breakup. Someone eventually asked her about it to which she just sighed and said, “He’s just a really good guy. There’s nothing to expose about him.”

Which did nothing to diminish the ever-growing crush I had. Sungjin just screamed boyfriend material in every way and there was no denying that I wanted that. But he is far too perfect and that is absolutely terrifying.

“Is it time for you to run away?”

I looked up and saw Sungjin coming through the door. I grabbed a cloth and ducked under the counter to go clear some tables.

“What can I get for you today?”

I looked up from the plate I was grabbing off the table and made eye contact with Anna. She grinned and looked back at Sungjin, “What do you recommend?”

“Hey, what should he get?”

I stood there, frozen in place, as I stared at Anna completely dumbfounded. And she had the nerve to look at me with this shit eating grin on her face. With Sungjin now also staring at me, I said the first thing that popped into my head. “Coffee.”

“Thanks, Poindexter, care to elaborate?”

I hate everything and I want to crawl under this table and die. “Okay, fine. How about a blueberry muffin and a vanilla latte?” Please let this be an acceptable answer, I think I will combust if Sungjin continues to look at me.

“That sounds great, actually.” He turned back to the counter, now is my time to run. Or at least go to a different part of the bakery.

I slunk away quietly as he paid and waited for his order. I can’t believe that really happened. The first time I speak to the guy I’ve been crushing for an embarrassing amount of time, I sound like a complete idiot. Why am I like this? This is the reason I am going to end up eternally single, there is no hope for me. I should look into adopting some cats.

“Excuse me?”

I jumped and sent the mug I was holding flying to the floor. I stared at the shattered blue ceramic remnants on the floor and sighed, “Yes? How can I help you? Do you want your mug broken as well?”

He laughed and I swear I heard the angels sing, am I still breathing? This is Earth still, right? “I just wanted to apologize for putting you on the spot. I’m Sungjin by the way. I live upstairs, I don’t think I’ve ever introduced myself.”

“Oh I know who you are-” I slapped my hand against my mouth and groaned, “That sounds very creepy, I’m leaving now. Enjoy your muffin.”

I walked, okay maybe I ran, into the back room and slid down to the floor. I am an idiot, this is why I never talked to him. Should I just quit? Should I just leave town, change my name, and move to Mexico?

“He’s gone, go clean up the broken mug.” Anna laughed and tossed a broom at me, “You have successfully made an impression.”

“Shut up,” I grumbled and grabbed the broom.

I started to carefully pick up the larger bits of the broken mug and Anna came over with a trash can. I dropped them in and started sweeping up the smaller bits, “So, now you’ve spoken to him. Should I start planning your wedding?”

I dumped the pan into the trash and glared at her, “You’re having way too much fun with this.”

She shrugged and helped me to my feet, “I never get to see you flustered. Might as well make the most of it.”

“I’m glad someone finds joy in my suffering.”

Anna just laughed and walked away, leaving me to finish cleaning up.

Maybe moving away would be a good idea. So free to just do whatever I wanted, maybe I could even reinvent myself and everything about my life. Maybe I’ll learn to cross-stitch and start a little shop selling pillows with dumb sayings on them.

Or maybe Sungjin would keep me here, baking muffins and making coffee. He started coming in at the same time every day, the same time I would be working. I think that’s also around the time when he realized I would always avoid talking to him so he started talking directly to me. Thankfully, no more mugs were harmed but it definitely left me flustered for the first week or two.

Then I realized that the image I painted of him in my mind was way too accurate. He was so easy to talk to that I found my walls falling quicker than usual. He just had something about him that made you want to be his friend.

Okay maybe I don’t really want to be his friend but I’ll take whatever I can get, okay? If this is all I can get from him, then that is totally fine with me.

The only thing that left me feeling weird was my crush, still very much here and stronger than ever. There was no way I would let him know I liked him that way. I wasn’t sure where he was emotionally and he barely knew me so that was a no go. I didn’t want to ruin the friendship I had just created.

“Sungjin, please save me.”

He laughed and grabbed my pleading hands in his, “How can I help? Is there a dragon for me to slay?”

“I have to go to an event next Friday.” I placed my hand over his and put on my best puppy dog eyes, “Please accompany me so I’m not so lonely and anxious.”

“That’s all? No dragons?”

“No dragons.”

He just grinned, “Worry no more, I will be your escort.”

“I can’t help but think of something else when you say escort.”

I laughed when his eyebrows shot up his face and he started waving his hands around, “I didn’t mean it like that! It was innocent, I swear!”

I clutched my stomach and let out a weak laugh. I took in a deep breath and swiped away a couple tears before looking back up at him, “That was too good.”

I caught his eye and he grumbled something about me being annoying. He stood up and picked up his backpack, “I have class. I’ll see you around!”

I waved and watched him leave, dropping my head onto the table once he was completely out of sight. Anna came over, smacking me on the head with a cloth. The chair squeaked against the tile and I just put up my hand, “I will be up and working in a minute. I just need a little time to pick my soul up off the floor.”

“You really have it bad for him, don’t you?”

A guttural groan escaped my lips before I even realized it was coming out. I heard Anna’s laugh, "Let me live woman!”

“You better let him know you’re into him before someone comes and snatches him up.” She patted my back and walked back over to the counter.

She’s not wrong but it’s still too early. I doubt he’ll even get into a new relationship right now, it hasn’t even been that long since his break up. He's probably not even thinking relationships right now. After being in one for so long, wouldn't you want to be single for a while?

 

─── ⋅◈⋅ ───

 

I should’ve listened to Anna.

“Oh? You guys are back together now?”

Sungjin nodded, his arm wrapped around Boyoung’s waist. “She convinced me to take her back so here we are.”

They looked perfect together. Goddamnit, why did they have to look so perfect together? “That’s great! I’m so happy for you two!” I am totally lying and I really hope you can’t tell!

“Thank you! I just couldn’t let him get away when I knew I still had a chance, he’s just such a good guy.” I smiled, hopefully kindly and not like I was in pain.

Although, does it really matter? They were too busy making googly eyes at each other to notice anything. Hell, I could probably get kidnapped right now and they wouldn’t even notice. I cleared my throat, “Can I get you guys something?”

“Right, you have other customers. Sorry, can we just get two croissants?” I nodded, punching in the numbers and holding out my hand for the money. “You can keep the change.”

I nodded with a smile, “Thank you." I pointed off to the side, "You can wait over there and Anna will bring it out to you guys.”

They walked off to the side and I looked towards the next customer but Sungjin popped into my line of sight again. “Hey, I don’t think I can make it on Friday anymore. You can find someone else to go with you, right?”

Well, there goes Sungjin’s trusty reliability, that's just great. I waved him off, “It’s fine. I’ll find someone else, no problem.” I have no one else to take, what am I supposed to do?

“Thank you for being so understanding. Everything with Boyoung just happened so suddenly and I really need to focus on her right now.”

“That’s totally fine, you don’t need to explain anything to me.” He grinned and backed up again, “Can I help you?”

I drifted mindlessly through the rest of the day, now panicking about Friday. Who am I going to take to this event? I can’t go alone, that just sounds like an absolutely terrible idea. Sungjin would’ve been so nice to have there, he’s easy to talk to and he doesn’t get uncomfortable in new places. Unlike me, so it's helpful in these situations.

Can I manage to go alone? It's not like I can just not go, I mean it's for a grade. Plus it's not something I can just fail and not have to worry about it. If I didn’t show up, I would probably end up failing the entire class. How bad would it really be to go alone?

How bad is sitting in a room with dozens, maybe even hundreds, of people judging my project? Asking me questions about it, having to sound intelligent and maybe even having to maintain small talk with strangers. Also having to deal with the idea that I don't actually know who will be grading my project. Who am I kidding, I can’t do that alone. I laughed to myself, "I'm screwed."

“Excuse me?” I looked up and blinked at the man in front of me, “Are you the girl in need of help?”

“Did I die?” I glanced around the shop then looked back at him, “If this is heaven, heaven needs a makeover.”

He just laughed and stuck out his hand, “I’m Wooyoung. One of my friends came by earlier and saw you were in distress because of a friend situation. He thought I could help you out.”

I looked at his hand and then back up at him, “What?”

“You have a thing on Friday, right?” I nodded slowly, “I’ll accompany you to it in place of your friend.”

“Oh!” I started waving my hands around awkwardly, “You don’t have to do that!” I paused and sighed, “Besides, you’re still a stranger. I kind of need someone that I’m comfortable with to go with me.”

He just smiled, like I didn’t just reject his offer. “That’s why my friend called me! I’m great at making friends with even the shyest of people.”

“I don’t know,” I trailed off and looked down at my hands.

“I’ll order something and then we can get to know each other. Then you can decide if I’m worthy of keeping you company.”

I looked up at him and sighed, “Sure, whatever.” He didn’t seem like a bad guy. Besides, what’s the worse that can happen? I’ll be more certain that I’ll be alone on Friday? As if that's a reason to force him out.

He told me to bring him whatever I wanted to and left to sit down at a table. Who gives a stranger that much responsibility? Why do boys keep making me choose what they eat? I don’t want this to be my new normal, it’s stressful.

I grabbed the last slice of raspberry lemon cake and filled a glass with water. It’s too late for caffeine, at least for most people. I set everything down in front of him, “I have no idea if you’ll like this but I like it. I can get you something else if you want.”

He pointed to the seat across him and picked up a fork, “It looks great.” Anna came out from the back and eyed me as I sat down. I just shrugged in her direction and propped my head up on my hand. “She won’t be mad you’re sitting with me, right?”

I shook my head, “No one usually comes in around this time anyway.”

“Great!” He took a bite out of the cake before setting down his fork and looking at me, “So, what do you want to know about me?”

“Let’s start with the basics and work from there.” I held up one finger, “Don’t try to impress me. Just be whoever you actually are.”

And surprisingly, that worked out really well. I figured our conversation would come to an awkward lull after we talked about basic, small talk stuff. But Wooyoung was quick to segue off into more interesting topics. The guy was funny as hell and he knew it. He made me feel like I was talking to an old friend in no time, it was kind of impressive if I'm being honest.

So Wooyoung won me over and now I had someone to go to my event with.

He never really asked what it was for until we were there and I was setting a few things up before people started to show up. I heard Wooyoung clear his throat, “What is this all about exactly?”

I looked over my poster board and shrugged, “It’s part of our final project. Everyone had to write an essay about a topic of interest. This is the second part of that assignment, a presentation. Also known as my least favorite thing to do.”

“So who’s coming around?”

“I think there’s a handful of teachers, students from other classes, and people off the street.” I groaned, “They never told us who would be giving out scores so everyone’s been stressing out. Which includes me.”

I sat in my chair and looked through my note cards, “I’m sure you’ll do fine, no matter who grades your project. This looks really great.”

I smiled, “Thank you. Also, thank you for just showing up, I would’ve been much more nervous if I had to do this alone. It really means a lot to me.”

“It’s really nothing. I like being around you so it’s kind of fun being here.”

A slow burn crept up the back of my neck but I smiled anyway. Maybe Wooyoung could solve more than one issue for me and just maybe I would let him.

 

─── ⋅◈⋅ ───

 

“You guys started dating? I don't know if I can believe that."

Wooyoung wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a light squeeze, “I don't think she wanted to fall for me but she just couldn't help herself. Especially after I started to fall for her, she was a goner.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed, “Yeah, that's exactly how it worked.”

Sungjin clapped his hands together, a mischievous smile on his face as he eyed Boyoung. “This is great news! We should go on a double date sometime, it'll be so fun!"

I looked up at Wooyoung who seemed just as excited as Sungjin, “That would be so fun! Don’t you think so?”

I just nodded and smiled. But to me, this seemed like everything but fun. This felt like a terrible idea that will end up ruining everything for me.

The fact of the matter is I’m still not over Sungjin. Whatever feelings I did have before I met Wooyoung, are still very strong and they definitely aren't going away any time soon.

But don’t get me wrong, Wooyoung is great. If I didn’t have lingering feelings for someone else, I would be completely happy to be with him. He's everything you want in a guy and more. He’s just so easy to be with, he has such a welcoming aura about him that’s hard not to love. And yet, here I am. Stuck in this weird spot of too many feelings and yet no idea what to do with any of them.

“Is everything alright?”

I looked up and laughed, awkwardly probably, “Sorry, I was just zoning out. What’s going on?”

“Sungjin wanted to know if we wanted to go with them to dinner tonight.”

I shrugged, “I don’t have work so if you want to, we can.”

“Let’s go!”

I should’ve lied and made something up to get out of this. Everything about being here is painful. Who knew that watching your crush dote over his girlfriend would be incredibly hard to watch? Oh, everyone knew this already? Well someone should’ve informed me because this is practically torture. And feeling this way when you're sat next to your boyfriend? Oh boy, that just adds a whole new layer of guilt on you.

Watching Sungjin being a loving boyfriend is everything that I want that I will never be able to have. It's so nice seeing him so happy but I wish I was the one making him smile like that.

“Open up,” I popped open my mouth as Wooyoung gave me a bite of his meal. “How is it?”

I chewed slowly, “Needs salt but it’s good.” I leaned against his arm and yawned, “It’s better than my nonexistent food at least.”

“This is what we get for ordering the same thing,” Boyoung laughed.

I smiled at her, “We should remember that for next time.”

I wish I could hate her, I really do. But she’s just so nice and it’s not fair. She can’t get the guy I’ve been pining over and then be nice to me too. It makes it so much harder to throw a pity party for myself.

Our food eventually came, along with apologies from the staff, and then it was over just like that. I didn’t really have a chance to talk to Sungjin, Wooyoung was keeping him busy, but Boyoung was fun to chat with.

I think I like her and I hate that. But I’m happy she’s with Sungjin, he deserves a girl like her. They look like a good fit for each other.

But damn me if it doesn’t hurt to say that. I wish there was something wrong with them, something to give me some weird amount of hope that maybe there was a chance. A small, basically nonexistent chance that he’ll leave her and come to me.

I looked up as Wooyoung bent down to kiss my forehead, “I’ll see you this weekend, okay?” I nodded and walked up to my apartment.

I don’t know what I’m doing. How can I be thinking about Sungjin when I have Wooyoung by my side? I should appreciate Wooyoung, he’s such a great guy and he cares about me a lot. Why can’t I just move on already?

I fell onto my bed, a loud groan muffled by pillows rushing past my lips. I need to forget everything I felt for Sungjin and push myself towards to Wooyoung.

He’s just as great. Maybe even better if I just gave him a real chance. Wooyoung is worth moving on for, he cares about me and I should care about him in the same way. It’s the right thing to do, both for him and myself.

Pining over Sungjin isn’t going to make my situation any better, that’s one thing I know for sure.

 

─── ⋅◈⋅ ───

 

I wish I could just Thanos snap my feelings away.

It would just make everything so much easier and I would be happier. Because apparently, you can’t just ‘get over’ someone because you want to. There is no way to just brute force your way out of feelings.

No, you just have to suffer with these feelings until they finally decide to die. And that is exactly what I'm doing with this Sungjin crush, suffering.

Sungjin and Wooyoung really hit it off on that first double date so that meant we went on more double dates with them. Honestly, it felt like we went on more double dates than traditional dates. Which meant seeing Sungjin and Boyoung, together, all the time. And that's not the most helpful thing when you're trying to move on from someone. Because seeing your crush being loving with someone else doesn't make the feelings go away. No, instead it just makes them stronger and you can't lie to yourself about not wanting what it is you desperately desire.

So I started lying a little, saying things about being tired or having a lot of school work to catch up on. But the easiest lie, and therefore the most frequent lie, was saying that I was picking up an extra shift that night.

It was an easy lie because I always turned it into the truth, even if that meant I was just doing the dishes. No one can really question it, I’m young and I need money to survive so I have to do what I have to do. Even if I didn’t need the money and none of this made any real sense, it worked for me.

Anna was suspicious, why wouldn’t she be, but she never pushed me. She just eyed me when she first came in and went about her work like nothing was odd.

I know she’ll eventually ask me about it and when she does, I’ll be honest with her. But I’m glad she’s waiting because I don’t know if I want to say what I’m feeling. I know what she’ll tell me but I don’t know if I can handle it.

It’s already so clear to me what I should do. It’s so painfully obvious but I’m ignoring it, just like the mature adult I am. Because doing what I should do is much more painful than this.

The store bell rung, Wooyoung walking in with Sungjin and Boyoung in tow. “Are you sure you can’t come with us?”

I shook my head, “I’m really sorry. I just really need to save for some important stuff. Besides, I kind of need to be here tonight.” I reached over the counter and squeezed his arm, “Let’s go somewhere tomorrow? Just us, I miss having alone time with you.”

“Fine, I’ll just be the third wheel.”

Boyoung laughed, “I think I’m the one who will be third wheeling.”

After a peck on the cheek, they were out the store and down the street. Meanwhile, I was collapsing from sheer exhaustion and Anna was just watching me.

“We’re talking after closing.”

She said it so finitely that I knew there was no room to argue, no room to escape. It is finally time to admit defeat and I can already tell that this isn’t going to end well for me. But I will pretend like I’m oblivious until the last moment. Or until I fully collapse.

Anna placed a hand on my shoulder, letting out a sigh before speaking, “Go into the back room and take a nap. I don’t want you falling asleep at the register.”

I just nodded and did as she told me. Who was I to argue? I had been working myself to death, barely sleeping to keep up with everything at school. I was putting myself under too much and if I didn’t change something soon, I was going to get seriously hurt.

I fell onto the couch in a heap of exhaustion and in a moment I was out.

Before I even knew I was asleep, I was being jostled awake by Anna and shoved out the side door. “Wake up, we'll talk once I finish locking up." I nodded and sat down on a bench in the alley. I started rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and clearing my throat, trying to feel a little less weird.

Anna came out and handed me a muffin, “I figured you’d be hungry. You’ve been out for probably three hours.” She turned towards the door and locked it before sitting next to me.

We sat there quietly for a minute, me picking at the muffin and Anna taking in the night sky.

“I worry about you kid.”

I looked down at the ground, “I know you do.”

She let out a sigh, “Are you ready to face this situation? You know, so you can finally stop running yourself into the ground.”

I snorted, “Thanks for not beating around the bush.”

“Well, what am I supposed to say?” She laughed, “You’ve been acting weird and while I can guess what’s up, I don’t think anyone else can.”

“I just,” I shrugged, “I don’t know what to do. Everything feels weird and I think I’m doing everything wrong.”

“Well, let’s start with Wooyoung." She leaned over and peeked at me, "How are things with him?”

"Wooyoung.” I rested my head on Anna’s shoulder, “Wooyoung is great, honestly. There's nothing wrong with him. He makes me feel like I’m truly cared for. It’s really nice."

She leaned her head on mine and let out a little laugh, "But he's not Sungjin"

I groaned, "I hate that you’re right. It’s not fair that I can’t just move on and forget about this stupid crush. I never even had a chance with him! But now I'm just suffering with feelings I don't want to have anymore. And I can't even throw myself a pity party because I'm happy for him, he looks so happy with Boyoung.” I threw up my arms, “And to make it worse, I’m dragging Wooyoung along because I’m an idiot and don’t want to hurt him. Which is just going hurt him more in the long run. But I mean, no one wants to get broken up with especially when the reason is that they like someone else. Everything about this is just so,” I sighed, "Terrible."

Anna wrapped her arm around my shoulders and gave me a little squeeze, "He can probably tell your heart's not in the relationship. Just be honest with him, as soon as possible. It’s not fair to drag things on with him when you’re like this.”

“Easier said than done.”

She patted my shoulder, “Just remember that not telling him is just going to hurt him more.” She stood up and stretched her arms out, “I’m going to head out. I’ll see you at your next shift.”

She walked away, leaving me with just my thoughts. At least, that’s what I thought until the bench dipped next to me. I glanced to my side and met Wooyoung kind eyes. “I should probably be honest, right? I kind of feel like a jerk for planning all those double dates now.”

“Did you hear all of that?” He nodded, “Shit. I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to find out that way.”

“It’s fine, honestly. I kind of already knew you weren’t genuinely invested our relationship, at least not as much as one should be.”

“I’m really sorry, Wooyoung. You’re a great guy, honestly, I should be more than happy to be with you.”

He waved me off and laughed, “Thanks for making me seem so great but you really don’t need to. This is more about you than it is about me.” He twisted his upper body to face me, “What are you going to do about the whole Sungjin thing?”

I shrugged, “Honestly? What can I do? He’s clearly happy with Boyoung, you’ve seen them together enough to know that. I’m not going to mess that up just because it makes me sad to see.”

“You know that’s going to hurt you, right? Are you sure it won’t be too much to handle?”

I slumped forward and sighed, “Isn’t that kind of the point of calling it a crush? It’s absolutely crushing to deal with." I shook my head and laughed, "I’ll just avoid him for a while, let myself move on as best as I can before going about my regular life.”

“This is going to really hard for you, you know that right?” I just nodded, a knot slowly forming in my throat. Wooyoung wrapped me up in a hug, “You’ll get through this though, I promise.”

“Just how am I supposed to believe that?” A sob broke through my throat as Wooyoung held me against his chest. First I break up with him and now I’m crying over another guy in his arms? He deserves an award for being the best ex in the world. He's such a great guy and he deserves to be with someone just as great.

He squeezed me and chuckled, “I’ve been through my fair share of heartbreaks, including many unrequited crushes." He released me and opened his arms out wide, "And look at me, I’m still here! You could even say that I'm thriving.”

“Thank you for being so nice to me.” I sat up and wiped my eyes. “We can still be friends but only if you won’t feel weird about it.”

“Give me some time and I’ll see how I feel.” I nodded and we stood up together, “Don’t let this ruin you completely. Just look for the light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there.”

He stuck his hands in his pockets and started down the alley, leaving me behind to think.

Screw thinking, I’m tired. I’ll have a talk with myself tomorrow and I’ll figure stuff out then.

“I’m such an idiot,” I mumbled. I looked up at the building and found myself staring at Sungjin’s apartment. I jumped when I heard a small crash and headed out to the main street to look around. “That’s weird, I don’t see anything that would've made that noise?”

I shrugged it off, I’m tired so maybe I’m just hearing things. It wouldn’t be the first time, that’s for sure.

Things will make more sense in the morning. At least, that’s what I’m hoping for.

 

─── ⋅◈⋅ ───

 

The weeks after ending things with Wooyoung went surprisingly smoothly. He didn’t come in much, just for the occasional quick breakfast and a small chat. He insisted that he was still unsure about remaining friends but his actions proved otherwise. I was just happy that I didn't completely lose him.

Sungjin was the weird one though. He just stopped coming in altogether one day and I barely saw him on campus. But it was a welcomed change, it made avoiding him all the easier.

But it still felt strange. Like there was something more happening that I just didn’t know about.

What I did know, however, was that he ended things with Boyoung and she threw a fit whenever she could. Her main point throughout all of the yelling was that she was blindsided and that it was absolutely ridiculous that he ended things.

I wanted to know what was going through his mind when he did that. What was his reasoning for springing this breakup out of nowhere, what was Boyoung completely clueless to? But that would require cornering Sungjin and that's completely out of my limits.

Sure, it’s been a month since I really started this journey but that didn’t mean much. My feelings felt like they had settled a lot but I haven’t seen him in a while. So, for all that I know, the minute I see his face could be the minute that I unravel.

Anna broke me out of my trance, “I need to get to an appointment, can you lock up?”

I nodded and jingled the keys in my hand, “It’s not a hard task, Anna. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She waved and ran out the door. I finished up wiping down the counters and checked the store to make sure everything was in its rightful place. I grabbed my things from the back and locked that door first since I needed to head out the front. I finally made my final walk through to the front, making sure to check everywhere.

Everything looked to be in order so out the door I went. I tossed my bag over my shoulder and looked for the key out of the five on the ring. “Why doesn’t she label these stupid things?”

“Hey!” I turned my head as I finally found the key to lock the front doors and saw Sungjin sprinting down the street at me. I turned my head back to the door and quickly locked them, shoving the keys right back into my pocket. I just need to act normal. This is just a test to see if my feelings are finally going away.

He grabbed my arm as he caught his breath, giving me a chance to look him over. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” He took in a big gulp of air and straightened himself out, “No. Everything is not okay.”

I looked over his body, “Did you get hurt? Should I take you somewhere?”

He shook his head, “Just… just let me talk, okay?” I raised an eyebrow but nodded despite something in the back of my mind telling me to run. I knew I was just scared, scared that this whole month will just be a waste and I’ll be back at square one after this small interaction. But that wasn’t reason enough to not listen to whatever he wanted to say to me. Clearly, it was something important that I needed to hear right now or else he wouldn’t have run here.

He dragged me over to a bench and made me sit down while he paced in front of me. He turned to me and raised his arms up in defense, “I need to tell you what happened so please just don’t get mad.”

“Don’t get mad? Sungjin, what did you do?”

He let out a short laugh, “About a month ago,  I saw you outside the bakery and you looked really exhausted. So I was going to go down to talk to you but Anna beat me to it. For some reason, I stayed by my window and listened to you guys talk. I even listened to you talk to Wooyoung, I know I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t help myself.”

“So you heard all of that.”

Sungjin continued to pace and nodded, “I did and I’m sorry. But I guess now it makes sense why I haven’t been around. I freaked out knowing that I wasn’t supposed to know but I felt weird being around you. Like, I may do something out of character and I didn’t want that.” He sighed, “I was already in a relationship and this isn’t something that should make me feel like this. But Boyoung knew something was weird so I just ended things with her then. I’m sure you’ve heard all about that, she was not happy that I didn’t give her a reason for ending our relationship. But it's not like I could've told her I was confused about my feelings, she'd just be more upset.”

“Oh.”

He stopped in front of me and sighed, “Plus she could've told you about it and I didn't want you to know, at least not yet. I continued to avoid you because everything felt wrong and I didn’t want to make any mistakes. I was too scared that being around you again would make you uncomfortable. But for the past week, you’re all I can seem to think about. And I’ve been worried that if I don’t tell you now, you’re just going to completely forget about any feelings you had for me. Hell, maybe you’ve already moved on and this is just annoying. But if there is any chance that you still like me at all, I want to try this whole thing out.” He took in a deep breath and looked at me expectantly.

I just stared at him for a minute, my head spinning with all of this new information. “What?”

“I like you.”

“You what?”

“I am admitting that I have feelings for you and I am hoping that you will reciprocate those feelings.”

“You have got to be kidding me. Is this some kind of joke?”

“No?”

A cackle erupted from my throat and I felt tears welling up in my eyes, “This entire month I’ve been trying to get over you and now you decide to tell me this?” I stood up and brushed my hands off on my thighs, “This is ridiculous, you do not like me like that. You just feel bad about not reciprocating my feelings.”

“That’s not true, you can’t just say that about how I feel.”

“Listen, there has never been anything to suggest that even the idea of liking me has ever crossed your mind. I’m sorry Sungjin but I just can’t accept this.” I turned my back on him and started walking away, pausing to look back at him for just a moment. I sighed and dropped my head, “Just give me some time and we can go back to normal. It’ll be like I never had a crush and you’ll finally understand what I’m saying.”

I continued walking, if I walk away he can’t do anything. I have to be firm in my decision or I’ll just completely unravel and end up getting hurt. Besides, I don’t want him to see just how upset I am. That won’t make any of this any easier, he’ll just feel worse and the cycle will continue. I thought this was what I wanted but it just feels so wrong, it doesn’t even feel real. The version of myself from the beginning of this month would be screaming at for doing this but I know better. This has to be the right decision.

I barely managed to walk 20 steps before there was a hand on my elbow, “I’ve felt something different about you ever since you dropped that mug.” He twisted me around and my forehead pressed against his chest, “I’m not lying to you to make you feel better. I really do feel like I’m falling for you.”

“This can’t be happening,” I mumbled. Well, there goes holding myself together, I thought as I felt a tear fall to the ground under me.

“Are you crying?”

“You can’t prove anything.” He tried to lift my head but I kept myself firmly in place, “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, “I’m sorry for being confusing.” He let out a quiet sigh, “I know this is probably a lot right now but I just had to tell you. I can leave if you want just so you can process everything. I just, I want you to think about this more than you are.”

He took a step backward and I gripped his jacket, still not meeting his eyes, “Don’t go. Please.”

“Are you sure?” I nodded silently and he stepped closer to me, a rush of butterflies taking flight in my stomach. He bent down to look at my face and I finally met his eyes, the butterflies only getting stronger. His hand gently caressed my face, “I don’t want to make a habit of making you cry. It hurts too much to see you upset.”

I leaned into his hand and let out a shaky laugh, “This makes no sense.”

He smiled and ran his thumb over my cheek. My heart raced as his eyes bounced between my eyes and lips, silently asking for permission. I stepped closer to him, stepping out of my own boundaries for once.

He took my small motion and took charge, bringing his lips to ghost right over mine. I felt his shallow breathing as he stared into my eyes. He laughed, “I hope things start to make sense now.”

“Is this really an appropriate time to talk?”

“I don’t know, I kind of like just staring at you. Your cheeks are really cute and red right now.”

“Oh, so that’s what we’re doing now? Maybe I don’t like you after all.” His eyes looked panicked and without a thought, he gently pressed his lips against mine. I pulled away and laughed, “That was effective.”

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he threw his head back and laughed. “So, where do we go from here?”

“Well, I have a project to do so…”

“You know, I’m super helpful.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed, “I’m sure you are.”

"At least I don't just say coffee when people ask me from recommendations."

I shoved his shoulder lightly, "Let me live, okay? I was startled!"

 

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

**Author's Note:**

> Dear lord, I should never write this much for a single one shot again. So much effort, this is nowhere near my normal. I hope it was enjoyable though and that I was able to supply some nice Sungjin content~ And if you think it's garbage, I am sorry okay I tried ahh
> 
> also still don't really know how I want to format stuff on here, I've just kept it the same as everywhere else but idk if it works here. this site is a mystery to me and probably will be for a long time!


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